How strange it is to think people, even being miles apart, will feel and experience certain things the same way as if they were close. At some point we all have to face the fact we are not immortal. We all know this, but most of us don’t really accept it, nor do we prepare for it.
My meditation teacher often says we are here to prepare our death, and we should use our time here to do so. Most people react to this statement. I tend to agree with him, on this one. Some people believe in some type of after life, some in reincarnation, some in paradise, some in nothing, but no matter what our beliefs are, we will die. Our heart will stop to beat, our brain waves as well. We will physically die. Where and if we go somewhere else after is in a way irrelevant. We should make the best of the time we have now.
While talking with Hubby’s uncle over the weekend I said, for one, I tried to live each day to the fullest, almost as if it was my last. I don’t think of this every moment, but I do often; what if this was the last time I do …. I guess I’ve learned, watching my parents, who used to kiss before one would leave, to the point it would make me gag at times (especially as a teen), to never leave home without kissing my husband. If something was to happen to one of us, our last thought of our last moment together would be that kiss. Morbid? Maybe.
I try to live my life without having too many regrets. I do my best, and try not to hurt people. I don’t want to be on my deathbed thinking of all the things I should have done or said. I want to go in peace…
Hubby’s uncle talked about a relative who was recently placed in an “old folks home” and how it hit him hard while he was visiting this old man, how almost everyone in there was just sitting there awaiting death, staring blindly at the wall, empty of desires, dreams or simply life. We spend time planning for our vacations, our time off, and some of us even plan the time they will retire. We put money aside, and hope to be able to be comfortable and do those things we never had the time to do. What makes us think we will have the time or the energy or even the will to do them then? Why is it most of us don’t prepare ourselves to the eventuality that death is coming? Why do we hold on to grudges, or simply stop talking to so and so, because of something they did or didn’t do on such occasion? Why do we do this?
Before my mother-in-law passed I remember telling her she should make peace with people she loved before she died, and this even if she had one month or six or even a year ahead of her, just make peace so that she could go in peace. She did with me, and I’m very thankful for that. I wanted peace between us, and I’m happy we became friends before she did pass. Not everybody has this chance, so why not put the odds in our favour and act as if we were close to the end?
This is one thing I think we should not procrastinate too much about… Call it experience, life lesson, or what ever, one thing I do know, with or without another chance at this, I’m living my life the way I intend and I’d say it’s pretty full, even if there are days when I feel and act like a beached whale just waiting for something… something bigger than me who can actually move me in some way…