Friday, May 07, 2010

Should I be doing something else?

I don't know if you've noticed (not you Charlie, I know you have) but lately I'm being spammed a lot. I'd like to think these news readers are Chinese or something like that (you know, with a different alphabet), but it's not really the case I'm afraid. To think I've even activated the "Word Identification" and removed "Anonymous Users", and yet, I'm being bombarded. It sucks.

I have also noticed I have a bunch of new Followers... interesting... I sure hope these Followers will come out of the woodwork and leave a comment here and there, you know, so we get to know each other.

Driving back from a doctor's appointment this morning I thought of a few things I could write about, but by the time I got in front of my screen, these seeds of ideas had all died it seems. I'm sorry if my postings has been erratic and uninteresting. Even if I'm feeling good, I can't seem to find the needed "humph" to write. I will admit I spend time playing Farkle on Bacefook (that game is addictive, no joke). In the evening, since last Sunday, I've been scrapbooking. Thinking about this activity I can't help but wonder why the heck am I doing this? It's not like I'm doing one of my kids' album for them to enjoy at a later date; I don't have kids. I do enjoy the quiet time I spend doing that though. It relaxes me. Last Sunday at the Scrapbook Day, I think I was the only person there (among one hundred) who was doing pages about herself, ah! Everybody else was about their kids, no kidding.

Isn't it strange that I would accumulate so much crap (cards, pictures from every get together, travels, souvenirs, etc.) and in the end I won't bring any of it for my last big trip? Am I doing this so that I'll have something to look at later on, to remember special moments and people? Or am I just keeping busy until the big day? I wonder about that at times... am I wasting valuable time, time I should be spending trying to better myself for what comes next?

We all face our mortality in different ways, wanting to or not is not even part of this equation: that is the one thing that makes us ALL equals; we will, one day, die. I don't think I'm afraid of dying, but I'm afraid of pain, that yes. Things have time to change many times over, and my outlook can (and most likely will) as well. I was never one to think I'd like to live to be 100. I want to live comfortably and autonomously; that's what I wish for in my old...er days. I think I'm already over half of my life. I look at myself and there is no doubt I'm aging, my body is changing, so is my mind. I accept it (like I have a choice, anyway!).

I don't think I was born to do "something special", or that I have a life calling that I haven't answered yet. I may not leave my trace on this world, but deep down I have a feeling this is as good as it gets... and I'm ok with that.

8 comments:

TechnoBabe said...

I always use word verification on my blog. Spam is worse than annoying. I hope you get rid it the spam. Your post is interesting. Life is as interesting and challenging as we want it to be. I feel like I have had so much adventure in my life that now I am ready for some quiet time. I like the idea of scrapbooking. I haven't done that.

Charlie said...

Word verification isn't enough anymore: the spammers are going directly to blogs and manually inputting the WV.

As far as you spending time scrapbooking, it isn't a waste of time if you enjoy it—it's called a hobby, and we all need one. (Collecting live spiders doesn't count.)

I think all of us feel a need to leave something of ourselves behind in the world before we die and leave it. We want someone, anyone, to know that we were here. For me, it's my blog; for you, it's a scrapbook of your mementos.

Green-Eyed Momster said...

I'm sorry, you probably got the "spammers" from me if they're Chinese! ;) I hope the new followers introduce themselves to you! You are very interesting.

I have no answers for you. I blog about now and then.....

Hugs!!

flurrious said...

嘿臭豆腐!怎么样?

(I didn't want to feel left out of the next new internet thing.)

I don't know why, but it cracks me up that you were scrapbooking about yourself in a room full of moms. I sense a scandal brewing.

Wandering Coyote said...

I am really annoyed with those Asian character spammers, too, and they are EVERYWHERE. I get them on my food blog and I see them all over the place. Luckily, I don't get them on WordPress.

I enjoy scrapbooking, too, though I haven't been able to replenish my stock of supplies recently and I am almost out of stuff. Which reminds me: I am going to a Big City this week where there will be a Michael's....

joven said...

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Marius said...

I can't type in Chinese, but if you need a larger penis, or want to help me get eleventy-squillion dollars out of Nigeria just give me a reply with your bank account number. ;-)

Stinkypaw said...

TechnoBabe: Scrapbooking is fun and allows me to look back at my life and my people and remember how good it's been so far.

Charlie: Spammers should be shot!

I would never collect spiders, dead or alive, ugh. I guess my blog is also my way of leaving a trace of me behind... thank you for that.

GEM: I hope they will to, I like to meet new people.

flurrious: Nice to see you back (here)! I'm sure some thought I was so selfish to be doing that, imagine that, an album about me! ;-)

W C: I just love to shop at crafts stores, I can waste so much time in there...and money, of course! Have fun shopping!

joven: Welcome to my world.

Marius: I'll let you know when I'll need a bigger penis! Thanks!! ;-)