Thursday, February 21, 2013

Slow Learner, I Am

A few years back, I had a car accident and needed the hood of my new car to be repainted.  A friend of ours, let's call him M, referred me to a friend of his, let's call him C, who did body work and owned a mechanic garage.  I trusted our friend's judgement and went to see his friend to have my car fixed.  Turned out to be an experience from hell.

The day my car was supposed to be ready, we showed up and it wasn't.  C who I then realized wasn't a bit organized told us not to worry the only thing left was to do the paint.  He told me to drive my car to the entrance of one of his garage and his painter would take care of it.  That day, was a sunny and windy one in Montreal.  As we stood there, we saw the painter slowly getting his tools ready, not really protecting the car and started to spray paint the hood.  I still remember being amazed at how unconscious that man was.  I could see the spray paint flying everywhere, not only on the hood.  We told him and he told us not to worry.  Long story short, we had to go back for over spray on the windshield, lights and even bumper.  Let's just say I was furious and let both C and M know about it. C gave us a credit, but we never went back there. M felt crappy for having send us to C - he had actually never had to have body work done from C only mechanic.  It wasn't his fault, we decided to go there.  M & C are still friends.  We never really became friends with C, and probably never will either.

Whenever M host a party (birthday, anniversary, or just because) C and his wife are always there. At first, not long after that event, I was pissed off and didn't want to go because I didn't want to see C.  At some point I did realize that I wasn't being right towards M and his wife.  They hadn't done anything wrong.  If they were inviting us it was because they wanted us there.  If I didn't want to see C, I just had to move away from him.  It's actually pretty easy to avoid someone in a crowd of twelve people or more.  And I did.

That being said, I won't lie and say it is easy or that I don't get somewhat upset to see that incompetent nincompoop around, but it's not enough for me to avoid being with friends when the occasion occurs.

Today, my dearest current husband has reached the venerable age of half a century... Crazy to think I'm married to an old man, but it's the case nonetheless.  Hubby wanted to celebrate this milestone and throw a BIG party, and that we will.  This is not the first party I'm planning, I love doing that crap, except despite my best efforts of not having too many expectations, I find myself being somewhat disappointed by certain people.   If you've been reading me for a while, you probably figure out that I was a dog in another life (I didn't evolve much, some say I'm a bitch in this one! ah!), by that I mean I'm very loyal.  I do have a problem though; I, despite many efforts, expect others to be as responsible or respectful or reliable as I am.  If I tell you I will do something or that I'll be there, then I WILL.  Yes things do happen, I get that. A friend who was coming to the bash on Saturday, sent me an email yesterday saying he had to cancel, his father passed and his wake is on Saturday. We will be seeing him Sunday at his father's funerals, it won't be the same at all, that's for sure.

I'm disappointed with the lame excuses people come up with.  Come on people, own up to it, and say yay or nay, but don't give me bogus excuses.  I hate that.  I have even more disdain for people who say yes and don't show up.  That it is the worst for me.  No respect whatsoever.  Organizing any event, small like a home cook meal or big like this party with eighty people, has a cost attached to it.  I'm not talking about money alone, but time and energy.  Hubby chose all his guests, and he's lucky to have lots.  He, unlike me, comes from a very small family on both sides of his parents.  I will say this (and sorry if I offend any family member who might still be reading this blog), I'm disappointed that not one relative from his father's side wanted to even take an hour to cheer my husband, their cousin, at this point. I do understand people are busy, they have lives, but to spare a few moments to mark this milestone isn't much and would be appreciated, but they all decided otherwise.  I wish I could just say "oh well", but I can't.  I find it sad for Hubby.  Thank God he has some really good friends, for that I'm very thankful.  I guess it is true that friends are the family we choose...  


Attila the Mom said...

I'm sorry I've been away and missed this. Happy B-day to hubby!

Tricia Carr said...

Hi, Some people are blessed with close loving family; others are not. I fall into the or not for the most part.
My family = critters and friends.