Interesting flashback and realization

I'm married to a geek, a computer geek, a real one, who swears by Linus and who often refers to himself as an old Unix guy.  He hates Winblows (as he refers to it) and everything related.  Because of me he has to touch Winblows - I'm a user of such evil. Lately, when sending or trying to fetch my emails I get this error message - according to my in-house geek - it's due not only to Winblows sucking big time but in reality to the fact that one of my Outlook file is too old and out of space.  So, in order to go around that pain, I have to clean up my mails.  I've been deleting a bunch of stuff  and this despite me being from the school of "Let's keep it in case I need to refer to it some day".  I started with little emails, not that important, etc.  Today I encounter that damn error again and needed to send some mails out (for clients) so I went in my Blog related emails.

I've been blogging since April 2006 - wow! time does fly when you're having fun! - this is my 1,160th post in seven years, not to shabby, if I do say so myself.  Through those years I've met some pretty interesting people, and seeing all those names while deleting a file containing all comments I've received since I started blogging was an interesting flashback.  Seeing names of  "old' readers and thinking about them, some of which are now dead (sadly enough), others just disappeared or stopped blogging it reminded me of how interesting the last seven years have been.

As I was going through them I reread the titles of many posts and realized that I have a tendency towards the dark side.  Could that be a vestige from my father?  I think so, mixed with my own...  I have what I call my "Happy Light" to help my S.A.D. especially in winter months, plus I take my daily dose of "Happy Pills" and yet there are still lots of clouds in that brain of mine.  I'm trying to remain positive and to see the bright side, and I guess looking at what I've been posting (especially lately) I'm not really succeeding, am I?

I've always thought of this blog as a place where I could express myself, tell it as I saw it.  Whatever I'm feeling is/was being reflected in my posts.  It might be depressing for some who are looking for "light and fluffy".  I'm plenty fluffy, but light I am not. If you know me in real life, you only know how true that statement is.   

I've often seen those "feel good" saying like happiness is a choice, or our powerful our thoughts are, they are I get that.  Do I apply it? Not always.  I do try though.  That being said/written, I will apply myself harder but will I not be pretending to be or feel something I'm not.  There is plenty of fake in this world without me adding to it.  Let's just hope the sun comes out from behind those clouds...