Sunday, July 17, 2016

No matter what. When your time comes...

No matter what we say about Bacefook, one thing is for sure it does keep people in communication (or whatever you want to call it).  I find out stuff about people, not because I'm being told directly but because of posts on Bacefook.  It is a way for us to keep in touch, an impersonal one for sure, but a way nonetheless.  Granted sometimes I would rather not know or read about some of the stuff people post, but eh... Some people share just about anything, others  share very little, some only superficial crap... I try to keep it general and not go into personal stuff too much, but then again I have this blog, where I've shared TMI at times.  Sometimes it bit me in the ass, but thinking back it was maybe a way for the Universe to cleanse my environment, get rid of juice suckers or too sensitive people with whom you have to watch every little thing you say and do and how and when, etc.  Way too much work for what it's worth.

Last night, or rather earlier this morning, I was looking around Bacefook, when I came around a post from a guy I used to train with in the late eighties. We weren't close friends, but we would see each other regularly at the dojo and didn't mind each other, I guess.  His post was about the death of one of the higher belts in our local organization, a known figure in themartial arts scene.  I read his post twice and then went on to other people's pages to see if this was a bad joke or what.  As I read and saw pictures of the defunct being posted many places, I realized that it was not a bad joke, but that fifty-six years old man had really died of a heart attack, of all causes.  I offered my sympathies to his sister (which I kept in touch with through Bacefook only) and his wife and went to bed.  I was really shaken by this news.  Of all people to die this way... unreal.

Today, I went back to Bacefook and seeing the quantity of messages on his wall, and his family's it made it ever more real... He was really gone.  I've met him in a dojo in 1984, I was training and we were to do a demonstration together for a local TV show.  The daughter of my instructor had the hots for him and they were always flirting and fooling around.  I've had some uncomfortable moments once, at a karate summer camp, when he end up in our room (room that three of us girls were sharing) with the daughter for a "short (or rather quick!) visit".  Throughout my years of training, he was always around, always training and always the same funny guy.  He was a nice guy.  I never thought of him as a friend per say, but more than an acquaintance too... weird, he was there and it was a fact.  He always remained loyal to my instructor, even when politics got in the way.  Their friendship was real.  They were the three or four amigos, always traveling together, hitting the bars, and being fools together.  As they aged, they somewhat calmed down, had kids, and find a mate.  They were still the three (or four) amigos, always ready to laugh and play.

For the past ten years, if not more, I'm no longer active in karate.  Between all the political crap going on, my body talking to me, and life in general, I stepped down from the dojo floor.  I haven't kept in touch with many people either.  Whenever we would run into each other, we were always courteous and could enjoy a drink together.  Last time we met I think was for the funeral of Lowe Shihan in Hawai'i.  I was in touch with his wife, through Bacefook, and would communicate every so often.  As I sit here, thinking that he is now gone, feels really strange, as if I'm being made aware that life is short, that we truly are here only for a short period, and that we never know when our time has come.

There will be service for him this week.  I will go and pay my respect.  I will run into many people I haven't seen for many years.  We will reminisce. A lot of these people still train.  I would lie if I said that I miss it.  I do miss the hitting something on a regular base, that yes.  I miss some of the people, but not enough to contact them, I guess...  

Strange how one random look at Bacefook reminded me of how fragile life is, how not matter what, how much you keep in shape or not, when it is time for you to go, that is it.  You're done.  He was "dangerously in shape" as he used to say... and yet... Sad.

1 comment:

Christelle Mendelssohn said...

I understand so much your feelings. We are sand grain on this Earth but we could make life we like. Enjoy little things, appreciate good moments, share with people we loved and no regret. This man had a good life and it is a pity it ended. Yesterday we were in Carcassonne for Olivier's birthday and we thought about you. Next time, you will come, we will pick us in this wonderful place to be in peace. Big hugs and love.