Old is when...

Do you remember, as a kid, how we used to think of how and what we would be when we’d be “old”? I do. I still remember sitting in class and the teacher asking us to think of what we could be doing in 2000. Wow! That was sooooooo far away. 2000? All I remember is that I knew I was going to be old! Well, you know... over 30!

We are now at the end of 2006 and with the recent events happening in our lives, I must say I do feel old… As far back as I can remember almost all my birthdays were celebrated with friends and family. My mom would always invite some of my friends over, prepared some little triangle sandwiches (cheese, eggs and shredded ham with pickles, my favourite!), no crusts and big tall glasses of Orangeade. And let’s not forget the cake, sometimes store bought, but most time she would bake it. As time went on, it turned into dinners, mostly with relatives, until I moved out. Then it would be a mixture of meeting friends and relatives at a restaurant or at home, but never alone!

I never really had a “surprise party” as such; I always knew something was going to happen. No matter what I enjoyed it. When I turned 30 I wanted to celebrate the occasion, so I booked a room, ask a friend to take care of the music (he was a dj), ordered a cake that I had especially designed as an “Old Bag” (I was turning 30 after all!) and invited a bunch of friends and relatives. We had a great time; lots of dancing, booze and everything went according to plan.

A few years ago I organized (did I tell you that I just looove to organize things? Well, I do!) a BIG surprise for my mom’s 60th. Over 100 people showed up. She was overwhelmed to see old friends, and still talks about it. That’s the type of surprise I would love to get one day, before I die.

We (Hubby & moi) often said that when I would turn 40 we would throw a big bash. I’m turning 40 on Friday. And we had planned a party. A big party! When we started to plan it we didn’t know I was going to have surgery in October. But we figured that 6 weeks post-op I would be able to enjoy the party. I should be, even if I don’t really feel like it anymore... almost. The one thing we didn’t know was that we would also be mourning our little pooch… I’ve been crying so much the last few days that the thought of enjoying myself and partying isn’t almost foreign to me. It’s funny how her death put things in perspective. A friend had offered to do my make up, but if things keep up the way they are, I will need more than her talent, I will need magic!

So, Saturday we will be throwing a BIG party and commemorate my 40 years, with friends and some relatives. Woohoo! I wish I could say, “I can’t wait”, but I guess in my old and wiser days, I can…

Deep down I know I have so much to be thankful for. I’ve been blessed in more ways than one, but I’ve also experienced the harsh sides of life in more ways than one. Over all, despite me feeling like an old, wrinkled, soggy lady (I’ve said I’ve been crying a lot!) I also feel very lucky to have friends and family who do love me and have been loving me for over 40 years.

I will see you on the dance floor, and even if I’m crying a little, I'm hoping those tears will be tears of joy.