Thursday, March 15, 2007

C'est quoi la réponse?*

This morning Hubby is driving his parents to the hospital. His dad needs a break and his mom a treatment, so he decided to go with them and see, first hand, what help is available. Imagine, a 70 years old man who, from one day to the next, went from a working house painter with his daily routine to retiree and caregiver to his wife battling cancer. Talk about a major life change! Life has he knew it is completely upside-down.

While preparing his coffee for the road, Hubby said: “I need to know what’s out there to help them, because I’m not retired and I need billable hours” (The only bad thing, really, about being self-employed: no billable hours = no money! ).

On top of trying to find help for his parents, he has to “maintain peace”. He was telling me about cracking jokes with them, to try to relax the atmosphere a bit, he asked them yesterday if he had to wear a blue helmet. Neither one of his parents got the joke. He had to explain to them about the “peace keeper”… not funny after you have to explain it, now is it?

Even though it’s not easy, and I have a feeling the worst isn’t here yet, I want us to see this “challenge” as a test or series of tests, as an opportunity to grow. With a “test” we always have the chance to succeed, whereas if we see it as a “battle” or a “problem” that we have to win or resolve, it could get rough. Instead of fighting with it, can we learn something from it? It’s just about the way we view things, and yet, it does make a big difference. We have to stop and think about it and ask ourselves, “What can I do that would help me rise above it? Can I look at this in a different way?”

We will certainly feel overwhelmed at times, but if we take a breather and remember to laugh, I’m sure we will see that everything in life is just a test. Because after all, if it wasn’t a test we would have all the answers, now wouldn’t we?

Image: Test

* What's the answer?

11 comments:

Jason Stockl said...

I have always believed that out of any seemingly bad situation, there is always a little glimmer of good that comes out of it.

As hard as these situations are, they are life lessons. Nobody ever said life was always rosy!

I think about your in-laws a lot. May all of you find the courage to face the challenges that lie ahead.

(Whew! I'm not used to writing stuff like this on my own blog!)

Christina_the_wench said...

Sending good wishes your way. I dread the future day when I have to deal with my parents in this fashion. It is never easy.

*hugs*

lizgwiz said...

You seem to have a good attitude toward the whole thing--that will certainly help.

You might want to look into hospice care for your mother-in-law. They offer a great deal of support, physically and emotionally, for those facing end-of-life decisions.

Anonymous said...

Oh, that brings back memories. My father has had colon cancer twice and it was a rough period. It's hard to watch a parent going through something like that. Our parents are supposed to be strong and live forever, right? I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. :-)

Anonymous said...

Stay as strong and optimistic as you have been so far...we expect nothing less from the both of you. We're praying for all of you...Mousse & Mike

Attila the Mom said...

I think it's great that you choose to see this as a "test" and not a "battle". Starting out with an attitude like that can really set the tone, in my opinion! Good for you!

stinkypaw said...

j67: Thanks, it's just that some of "us" have a harder time to see the good/lessons... but I'm sure we will manage because "Tough times never last... But tough people do!"

christina: It's not easy but it's part of life... Thanks for the hugs. :-)

lizgwiz: Hubby is still with them, at the hospital, finding out a bunch of info to make the "right" decision for all involved. Thanks.

ananke: We all wish for that (parents for their kids, and us for our parents), but life has other plans at times. Thanks.

mousse & mike: Thanks guys, it's appreciated.

atm: Attitude does a lot, I believe that! Like one of my t-shirt used to say "It's not an attitude, it's the way I am!" - thanks!

Anonymous said...

Dang you have the best perspective!
I hope all goes well.
I don't know what to say other than that.

stinkypaw said...

wreckless: Thanks - enough said! ;-)

don't call me MA'AM said...

Maybe if hospice care isn't available, respite care might be? I know a lot of people who are primary caregivers for their parents/husbands/wives/children who are ill... respite care comes in every once in a while to provide a much-needed break. It's just another alternative to consider. :-)

stinkypaw said...

dcmm: We are first looking into respite care, since she doesn't want to leave her home... They will be re-assess tomorrow. Let's keep our fingers crossed!