FuneralS

I’ve been wondering if I should write about it or not… I asked my beautiful husband if he would mind, and he agreed so…

Last week was a death week for me. My MIL passed away on July 12th, but her funeral was on Monday July 16th. It was beautifully done, simple and personalized. Hubby and I had provided some pictures of her through time, and the funeral home made a little video montage with them, which turned out quite good. Her brother did a photomontage that looked amazing. We had brought some of her art to display and I had put a picture of Hubby and his dad with her, in her coffin.

A lot of people came to pay their respect. The Hungarian community had a fair presence. It’s always surprising to see who will “pop up” at those things… and yet I think it is nice of people to make the effort and come. After the viewing, the casket was moved to the chapel where their Hungarian priest did a little service. Then Hubby got up and addressed the people present. I have to say that my husband is not the emotional one, he’s often perceived as cold, but I know that under all that lays a tender heart. The first thing that attracted me to him was is brain, how smart he was about little weird things. He knows the most random things and he’ll retain the strangest information; it’s freaky. He also has the great ability to write well. When we wrote our vows, I worked hard at it. He just sat there and came up with the perfect sentences. Did I say that he also often piss me off? No? Well, he does! But I love him. Anyway, he gave his mother a really nice eulogy. I thought some of you might want to read it (and he was ok with me blogging about it) :

Thank you all for your support and for being here with us to say farewell to my mother.

Each arriving in Canada with barely anything, my mother and father together successfully created a rich and comfortable life for our family. I am very grateful to both of them for this great accomplishment.

How to describe my mother, affectionately known as "Gitta"? I have thought of the adjectives we could use to describe her:

- Talented: as demonstrated by the few pieces we brought here today.

- Meticulous: she would start a task over and over until it was just the way she wanted the result to be, particularly for her art.

She was also strong, proud and generous. I am happy to have inherited a portion of some of these characteristics of hers.

However, like all of us she also had some less than ideal characteristics: stubborn (I can vouch for having inherited a good portion of stubbornness from her), opinionated and at times she could even be hurtful.

With myself and more particularly with my father EVERYTHING had to be just her way. As I mentioned, we all have some less than shining characteristics, myself included, and these were hers.

For 13 years my wife Stinkypaw had to bite her tongue to keep some semblance of peace in our family, but Gitta came around and made peace with Stinkypaw during the last 10 months. We are all glad it finally happened and as the expression goes: "better late than never". All three of us remaining are very happy my mother did this before passing. In some small way I hope it gave her a bit more peace before the end.

Gitta loved to entertain. She graciously opened her door to friends and family. I believe that all felt welcome and warm in my parents' home. She was great at entertaining and particularly FEEDING her guests (she would prepare at least three times the amount food required, just to make sure nothing would run out). It was during these times that she was at her best, while having a drink with friends and family, one of her favorite being a bit of "bubbly", Henckell to be exact. I am glad she managed to have a last sip at her 64th birthday on June 23rd.

Her greatest legacy is her love, the life she helped create for us and her great art. I sincerely hope that some members of the guild will think of her during a brushstroke here and there.

Dad we will do fine, once in a while we'll even give you a few orders to remind you of her.

"Mamika" you can rest in peace our eternal love for you lives on within us and your loving husband will be taken care of.

After that we invited everyone to come to a reception hall to toast Gitta one last time and have a bite to eat. FIL was very happy with how everything went and so were we.

Then on Thursday we went to the funeral of a long time friend of my parents. He died on July 17th due to bone cancer. As far back as I can remember he was always there. The last time we spoke was June 6th. He had called me because of a letter I had written him. When my mother had informed me of his condition, I decided to let him know how much he represented to me, and to thank him for always being a good influence in my life. My letter really touched him and his family.

When we showed up for the viewing, which was being held in the church hall, because the funeral home was too small, I saw a queue of people waiting to get in. I just couldn’t believe it. We had to line up to see the body and family, just like for dignitaries or famous people! The man I saw in his casket wasn’t the man I remembered. I’m so happy I got to let him know how I felt before he died.

His daughter in law thanked me for writing him, because it taught her that we should take the time to say how we feel to our loved ones, that we’ll never know how much it will be appreciated and how much it will mean to them…

I’m just glad I had a chance, with both deceased, to let them go in peace.

May you both rest in peace.

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Image: flower