Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Aging

Do you ever catch yourself realising that you sound just like your mother? That you do something just like your mom does? I don’t know if it’s because I’m aging, because let’s be honest here, I’m not getting any younger but I don’t really think of myself as being old either (except at very specific random times). Growing up I often heard that I looked just like my mom. I remember looking at her and thinking, I don’t look like that! So many times I was told: “You must be Mrs Paw’s daughter”, and that would upset me, because I didn’t think I looked like my mother. I have my father’s mouth and character (not his best feature. Hee.) I’ve always been taller than both my parents, so no real resemblance there, and yet some people could tell.

I’ve been catching myself saying things my parents would say, and when I do it makes me “reset” if you will. When did I turn into them? Last year when we took the pooch in, Hubby did mentioned a few times (too many!) that when I spoke to the pooch I sounded (or used expressions) just like my mother. At first I was taken aback by it, but would hear something I’d say and couldn’t deny it.

As a teen I remember caressing my mother’s hands (she has very soft hands) and noticing that her skin was changing, the veins were more apparent, the texture of her skin changed as well… it was starting to wrinkle. Driving back from my dentist earlier, while waiting at a red light I noticed my hands on the steering wheel… I have my mother’s hands. Looking at my body there’s no doubt that I have the same shape as my mom… and I don’t really know how to feel about that. As I'm typing this I became aware that my mouth was pouting just like my mother does when she's thinking. Even if I couldn’t see myself, I know that my mouth was placed in the way I so often saw on her face. It’s really strange to discover that I’m really a lot more like her than I thought I was.

I wonder if I’ll age the way she did? I hope to remain active and enjoying life and to be in peace with myself. I don’t want to become one who obsesses about the way I look or what will people think of me. I’ve done my share of that in school. I’m not completely over that, we all have some insecurity, but I’d say I’m managing pretty well. Is it because I still feel inside my head the way I did when I was young…er? When I think of myself, I still see myself as I did in my twenties. Looking at myself in a mirror, well… that’s different, to say the least. But overall I think I do like the person looking back at me. And that makes me happy in some way. It reassures me about the fact that time is moving in one direction only.

I know that aging is part of this process we call life. I don’t mind it too much. At least I don’t think I do. But, I do mind the abrupt stop at the end!
___
Image: Aging

17 comments:

Marius said...

I'm 43. This number makes absoulutely no sense to me, as in my head I'm in my 20's. And when I look in the mirror I don't see a man in his 40's, but when I look at a picture of myself when I was in my 20's the comparison is quite shocking. And I still remember the day my daughter made the words "Don't make me come up there!" came out of my mouth. It happens to us all.

lizgwiz said...

People were always telling me as a child that I looked like my mother, and I could never see it. I can see it a little bit now, though, and I think it's a huge compliment when someone says I look like my mother, since I realized somewhere along the way that she's beautiful!

I definitely have my father's dry and sarcastic sense of humor, though. ;)

Ananke said...

The older I get, the more I sound like my mother. It's inevitable. ;-)

Daddy Papersurfer said...

So long as you don't end up looking like me you'll be fine.
I've seen you annoying my son, which is a good thing obviously, so I thought I'd reciprocate.

Paisley said...

I find myself getting uptight about things my mother does, when really I don't think these things REALLY bother me so I'm reflecting to find out why I act that way sometimes.

It makes me feel old that my parents are getting old. I don't feel old and forget how old I am, but when I notice the sagging skin, the first age spot on my mom's arm and my dad's white hair (all of which I'm usually blind to) it hits me. I don't like it.

aksn1p3r said...

My mum says humiliating things in public,

ME:I already checked the levi's out, and they don't have my size....
MA: "WATS UR SIZE WAT SIZE? 28 30 ?"
METHINKS: "THERE ARE FUCKING POTENTIAL BABES IN HERE, YOU DONT HAVE TO TALK LOUDER THAN THE IN-STORE IPOD, AND I DONT NEED YOU TO CHOOSE MY LEVI's!"

but i still love her

Charlie said...

I turned 60 in June (which I still cannot believe), and I am the spitting image of my father (if, that is, he was still alive and 60 again). But other than looks, we were nothing alike.

But while my body has aged, my mind has not. Oh, I've picked up some amount of wisdom, learned from a mistake or two, and picked up a few dirty words along the way, but mentally I still feel young.

And I always will feel young because I refuse to become a stodgy and grumpy old f**t. Except when somebody plays rap "music".

[The former Admiral Pooper]

Purple Pigeon said...

Im already my mother and im only young. Tho i feel old sometimes when I'm the oldest in a nightclub for students.

I get really annoyed when my mum is really controlling, and get really pissed off, then i go and do the exact same thing to the G. Poor G.

I say the same things as her as well. She really annoys me when she says ''Its called_____'' when i argue with her, like when i say i didnt have any dinner, so why should i do the dishes? and she says ''Its called helping out!!''

or she says something really obscure like ''Its called not going to the cinema when you've been off work sick!!''

Then im ragging the G for not ringing his landlord or something,and I'll say ''Its called taking responsibility for your life!!''

Then i have to stop and sit down and smack my head on a table.

Its inevitable. We are watered down versions of our parents, with a few other personality traits thrown in.

Stinkypaw said...

marius: Since I don't have kids, I catch myself saying things my parents would tell me to our cat! And I sooo know what you mean by the number making no sense.

lizgwiz: Just like me! Mother's looks and Father's humor! Hee.

ananke: I guess it is. BTW, your mom must be a "handfull"?! ;-) (I'm just picturing you older!)

daddy papersurfer: Welcome to my world! You can annoy me as much as you want, and you're right about me being fine! ;-) Thanks for the visit.

paisley: You must be at that time in your life in re. to your mom. I don't like seeing myself age either, but it's a fact. The older we get the more "apparent" it becomes.

aksn1p3r: Welcome to my blog! That's what moms are for, at least mine did many times! ;-)

charlie: So nice to see you here. It's been ages! I know what you mean, I feel the same. When we go out now I'm the one that loud music bothers, who would have thought that!

pigeon: If you're like her now, imagine later!!! You'll be quite the old, crispy lady!!! Hee.

Nascar and the Canadian Curmudgeon said...

now I have to admit that none has said I remind them of my mother...which is a good thing ....but I catch myself thinking about the age thing as well..in the odd minute or two...I'm with you aging is no problem it's the abrupt stop that's not so much fun..so when I wake up in the morning and there is no mud pressing into my face...I figure it's gonna be a good day

parisukat said...

aging is only for those who forget how to enjoy life and feel young. :) Stay cool! Mature in spirit and mind but stay young at heart!

Stinkypaw said...

nascar: I like that outloko of yours! Good thinking!

parisukat: Welcome to my world!
Your comment is so true! Well put!

Kim Ayres said...

I remember writing about turning into my dad a couple of years ago, especially when I started wearing a har. I wrote about it here

Stinkypaw said...

kim: Good post, thanks for sharing your "archives" with me! ;-)

Attila The Mom said...

It's kind of funny. When I turned 40 earlier this year I realized that more often than not, when I open my mouth, my Mom falls out. LOL

Stinkypaw said...

attila: Funny and at the same time a bit scary, if you ask me! ;-)

Manikandan said...

Hi, this is nice blog, I had seen that many people have good skins in old stage also, but I had skin like a old man in young age itself. I had tried in many ways to overcome that. At last I took Aging Hands treatment from Dr.Rivkin.