I’ve been receiving lots of spam. Some do get filtered but I have a feeling that most just get through. I’m not even talking about my stinkypaw account. I’m talking about my personal accounts. I have a few emails accounts (one for business, one for personal, one for ordering, etc.) and lately it is total mayhem! I’ve asked my geek, security freak husband to do something about it, but his schedule being what it is, he hasn’t had much time to dedicate to this matter.According to the emails I’ve been receiving I deserve something better and bigger! (ah, sure!) Finally I won't be concerned with my size any more. (Are we talking about my weight again?!) They have something special that will make all my sexual desires real. (oohhh! Now I’m curious!) I should forget what I've heard earlier. The new era for me is here! Women will love me! (but…why?) Friends will be jealous! (I don't want my friends to envy me!) And I will finally feel like a real man with a real penis! (Ooh! that I've always wanted to know how it feels!)
If I try their product my penis will give me more! (yeah, lots more! like a penis!) They want to offer me something impressive! I never supposed that some medicine could make me feel so sure in bed. (That’s true!) My stick will be record-breaker! (I drive automatic thank you very much, so nothing will be recorded nor broken!) They shall lead me to my new sexual life. (I’m not sure I want to follow them though!) Do I want to be satisfied with an average penis and ordinary women? (Nope!) They doubt that. (But they really shouldn't!) That’s why they offer something special to me. (I feel so “special” now!) Mega refers to "great" (gee! You think?). And this new development will make my penis really great! (I wonder if it is FDA approved? And if it was tested on animals? I woudn't want anything but the best for this new penis of mine!) They tell me to take it and I will find pleasure in my new successes in bed! I’ll be so amazed... (Not shit Sherlock, I’ll be amazed! I'll have a penis!!) I will win in bed with their medicine for my penis (I would win big if I would need medicine for a penis I DON’T have!) That’s why they offer something special to me. And their product will make my ramrod really great! (so great even it doesn’t exist!) If I take it I will find pleasure in my new sexual experiences! (Now, that would be an experience!) I’ll be so pleasantly surprised... (Surprise isn’t strong enough to describe how I would feel!) A new size was never so easy to get (oh how I wish this was true, at least for weight!) If I buy it I will enjoy my new successes with women! (If I’d buy that I would think I'd want to enjoy my success with everyone!) They are here to tell me something impressive! (They sure are, I’m impressed to find out that I have a mediocre penis (which it might be since it is non-existent) and that they’ll be able to make my stick, my ramrod, my phallus, or whatever else they called it so "megagnific" that I’ll break all sexual records out there.)
It’s all about size isn’t it? I often heard that it wasn’t about size but about how it was used. I would have to agree with that BUT I would also have to say that size does matter. In everything! Think about it. Each one of us is concern at some point by the size of our cars, meals, bodies, houses, beds, etc. we always want a different size for miscellaneous reasons. We are not always satisfied with the average, we want to be above it, and sometimes we’ll do something stupid to get it… like answer an email…and place an order maybe.
Am I wrong here in thinking that size does matter?
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Image: Spam
10 comments:
We live in a sick, consumeristice world where everyone is consumed with looking at what the other person has, and wanting more or bettter instead of being happy and appreciative of what they have. Happiness is about being satisfied with what you have. Looking elswhere is bound to make you unhappy because there is always some one with bigger or more. I could write posts and posts about this.
Oops no e on consumeristic TYPO
OOH, dirty stinkypaw . . . let's hope that these "sizing agents" have the appropriate effect for those in need.
But remember, it's not the size of the wave, but the motion of the ocean.
I agree that size does matter- but I also think that, like beauty, the right size is def in the eyes of the beholder.
And, to touch on something you mentioned- I too have always been very curious about the male experience. I h ave a feeling it is significantly different from the female experience.
Gotta love that spam!
Oh my god, thats hilarious. Love your comments!
Sorry to here that you have a non-existant ramrod, but ur spam seems certain that they can sort you out! :-D
Hahaha you've made my day.
I remember when spam was something you fried and put ia sandwich..which my sistyer and I used to argue about who got the bigger Spam sandwich...so I guess it does matter...
wreckless: So true. We look elsewhere to be happy when it should be within ourselves.
brave astronaut: I didn't get "stinkypaw" by being clean you know! ;-) And I like your quote, good one!
monkey: I have a feeling it's a completely different experience, I'd be curious to know!
lizgwiz: Spam sucks!
pigeon: Good, glad you enjoyed this. I had fun with it too (wow, that could mean something sooo different following this post!)! ;-)
nascar: I remember those days as well, and you see, even back then size did matter!
Hey, how did you get into my email account? I get all of those too!!!! Argh, I hate, hate , HATE spam.
ananke: I know what you mean, and sorry about getting in your email box! ;-)
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