Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Different for "Them"

Yesterday, while at a client, we talked about how certain things were easier for men than for us women.

One of the main thing, for me, is the fact that they can pee anywhere. That is one “feature” that I’m really envious of at times.

For example, you’re at a fair and there aren’t any toilets other than the porta-potties. For the women’s there is ALWAYS a line, a looong line; for the men only a few guys waiting. Once you actually make it in, the smell that hits you almost knocks you back out, trying to control your gag reflex you look down to see that there’s pee all over the seat. I can’t help to think how disgusting we, women, can be. Nobody wants to sit on that thing, I get that, but please if your aim is that bad, you could at least wipe it. Which brings on the other issue of “toilet paper” or lack there of. If there’s none, we then have to go through our pockets or purses, hanging around our neck, because there’s no way in hell we’re putting our purses on that filthy floor, in search of some tissue. I’m sure it must be very entertaining to watch us women in there, or in public restrooms with a kid, who often is being told “Don’t touch that!” Sure we can do the Japanese way (squat), but then we can’t help to get grossed out by the fact that something might splatter on our shoes! Oh the joys of needing a toilet…

For men, they can wipe it out anywhere, do their thing, shake it off and off they go. They’re not in there long enough to let the smell or pee drops bother them and they just don’t care about the smell. Actually they do care, but choose not to. And that’s just for bathroom issue, I could go on about so many other things because there are many others… Just read this, you’ll see!

Men Are Just Happier People…

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks and engines.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes; one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
I don't know if men are happier, but their way seems a lot easier somehow...


Marius said...

Sorry, grammar problems forced me to axe the first draft of this. As I was saying, while I cannot argue any of those points, if it pleases the court I would like to put forth this one bit of evidence of female superiority that trumps all of our perks: multiple orgasms.

The Defense rests.


Anonymous said...

I am often bitter about gender inequity. And as much as we are all suppose to act like everything is equal and even- it is not. Not even close.
The attitudes towards women kill me- literally. Men are powerful- a woman is a bitch. Society puts all the chips on a woman's appearance, regardless of her other compentencies.
And- we do all of the heavy lifting everywhere- relationships, work place, etc. WE make things "go"
Sorry- this has been building up.

Christina_the_wench said...

marius has a point. *clapping*

Tammie said...

You're absolutely right, SP, and the reason ladies' lines are so long lies directly in the search for tissues!

On a more serious note, though, the whole gender inequity thing really frosts my backside.

Drowsey Monkey said...

lol @ the world is your urinal. Well...actually that's kinda icky.

I can't imagine beinga man. I dont' think I'd like it much...unless I was a gay man.

PreppyGirl said...

Oh this is so true. I actually went in a supermaket bathroom last Saturday that had a cleaning spray dispenser in the stall. It was great. I cleaned and disinfected the seat before use. Everyone needs this stuff!

simplypink said...

I agree. Tis much easier. I will hold it forever rather than use a porta potty. I go in one only when I HAVE to. They gag me.

Stinkypaw said...

marius: Very good point indeed! Hadn't think of that one...

Nothing further, your honor. ;-)

monkey: Vent as much as you need. Of course it's not even and it shouldn't be either. We are different. That's not just a fact, but reality.

christina: Marius found "the" point! ;-)

tammie: Let's not get into that too deeply; we all feel the same about it, I think...

drowsey: Oh! I would be gay as well, that's for sure, if I was a man!

preppygirl: Too bad not more places are equiped that way...

pink: I'd rather squat than use a potty, urgh!

lizgwiz said...

Yes, the ability to pee standing up is the one "man thing" I would most like to be able to do. Equal pay for equal work? Well, that would be great, but mostly I want to pee against a tree. ;)

Charlie said...

Rather than beat a dead horse to death and repeat someone else's comment, EVERYONE is right.

I might add, though, that women are much softer and don't have hair on their shoulders.

Ananke said...

It's a man's world, baby! I think of that every time I get my oil changed and those dopes try to sell me all sorts of things I know I don't need. But yeah, like Marius said, multiple orgasms....not a bad perk. ;-)

Stinkypaw said...

lizgwiz: I soooo know what you mean!

charlie: You're right about that, and thank God for that! ;-)

ananke: Yep, not bad at all!