Tuesday, January 27, 2009

I'm a curious one

Would you mind explaining to me why some people get so easily offended? I may not be a good specimen because it actually takes me a lot before something offends me. I’ve said it before no subject is really taboo, I can talk about the weather, bowl movement as well as sex and it’s all good. You want to be descriptive about something specific, go ahead. I really don’t care.

When I read or hear someone saying they find it offending to be called “honey” or “sweetie” by a waitress, I kind of find it stupid strange. What is wrong with being called an affectionate term by an old lady who’s seen so many people at her counter? I really don’t get it. Maybe it’s me; maybe it is because I’ve been called other names, which were far worse than any terms of endearment? We have a friend who never stops using those little “sweetie”, “honey”, “dear” words when addressing her friends, which means us. That I find too much, it’s too sweet, too nice it almost sounds fake, and yet that is her way. I respect that, but also can’t help to bug her about it, every time I see her.

I don’t even use any of those words when addressing my husband or anybody for that matter. I will write something like “hello good looking” and that’s the extent of my “sweetness”, because I won’t really say it.

If someone I don’t know refers to me as ‘honey’, I can’t help to think: “Wait ‘til you get to know me!” Ha! They think I’m a sweetheart, good for them. Doesn’t hurt me, quite the contrary, I think it’s flattering in a way; I guess I give an impression that isn’t really showing my true nature… and that is a good thing!

So, if you’re one of those people who do get offended, why is that? Care to explain, please, I’m curious?


Marius said...

The only things that offend me are blatant stupidity and bigotry. And I love it when a waitress/cashier calls me Hon or Sweety. :-) I tend to do the same thing with some of my students, but only after I have grown fond enough of them, and if I know it won't bother them.

Buster's Momma said...

It is one thing when an older person calls me 'honey' or 'dear'. It is a whole other thing when the 16 year old chick behind the counter calls out 'Hello sweetheart!' to me as I walk into the store and then she proceeds to end every sentence with some term of endearment - 'hon' 'babe' 'darlin' etc. Um, excuse me, #1 you don't know me and #2 my husband doesn't even call me sweetheart, so why would you? It's not that it offends me, there are just more appropriate greetings that should be used in some situations.

Charlie said...

I'm with you, SP, and Marius on this one: I don't care what anyone calls me as long as it isn't derogatory.

I remember a little (she was undertall) waitress who always called everyone darlin' with a Texas drawl. I loved hearing her say it, and I'm sure that it was second nature to her: she didn't use it as a term of endearment, but rather as a friendly greeting.

IMO, some people are just too damn touchy (and I'm not referring to you, BM).

flurrious said...

I think there's a difference between being offended by something and just not wanting to hear it. I'm offended by people who are judgmental or hateful or condescending, but not by much else. On the other hand if people want to describe their bowel movements or the sex they had last night, I'm not offended by that, but I'm not interested either. I think it shows a lack of discretion to talk about personal things just to have something to talk about. If there's a reason to talk about something personal, then it's fine. For example, if someone is seriously ill and one of symptoms is changes in their bowels, then -- assuming that's a person I care about anyway -- I have no problem with them being descriptive about it. But if I go to someone's Twitter page and see, "OMG, I just crapped a house!" I have to wonder why that person thinks anyone cares.

"Hon" or "Sweetie" doesn't bother me. It can be condescending or overly familiar, but unless someone is clearly trying to be one of those things, then I'm generally fine with it.

The one that puzzles me, though, is women who don't like the word "lady." I've seen a few instances of people getting very huffy and "I am not a 'lady,' I am a woman!" about it. I consider "lady" to be the polite counterpart of "gentleman," so it surprises me when the reaction is so vehement.

PinkPiddyPaws said...

**raises hand* guilty as charged... about CALLING people sweetie, honey, sugar..ha.ha.ha.. I'm an ex-waitress. :)

*snort* my verification word was muffrove.. are you trying to say something stinky??

lizgwiz said...

Unless the term is clearly derogatory, I don't get offended when anybody calls me anything. Okay, "ma'am" doesn't thrill me, but I'm not offended. ;)

Anonymous said...

I really like it when people call me something nice- when it is meant in a nice way. But I also like mildly inappropriate comments from my co-workers as well. A little sexual harassment, overly familiar comments- if it is all in good fun it is alright by me.

Annake said...

I don't mind being called honey or sweetie. It's way better than being called a bitch (which I have been called on occasion, hee). Mwahahahaha! ;-)

Stinkypaw said...

Marius: You must be a fun teacher to have...

Buster's Momma: Welcome! I agree with the appropriate greetings, and it would be just weird to be called sweetheart by a teen...

Charlie: I think just like you, and also agree on the too damn touchy!

fluririous: I agree, there is and should be a difference. Some people will share too much, no matter where or how or with whom. That "lady" thing, I really don't get, that is just plain strange... I'd rather be called lady than 'ma'am.

PPPaws: I have no control (unfortunately) over the word verification. ;-)

lizgwiz: Same here, not thrill about 'ma'am but since it happens more and more, I have to get use to it.

Monkey: LOL, you totally suprised me with this comment. Flirtatious are we?

Annake: I totally agree! ;-)

Janes Insane said...

I like all those terms & also find them endearing. The only time I don't like them is when they're said in a sarcastic manner, which obviously is meant to be offensive.