Dreaming of a man, other than one’s husband, is that cheating? Every time he smiles at us we have little butterflies in our stomach, or we anticipate the next time we’ll see him, or we wonder how it would be if he kissed us… We’re not doing anything wrong, right?
To bring this topic up during a dinner with friends is sure to raise some reactions if not confrontations. The points of views are really split on this one: for some it’s when we actually do something and for others, it’s from the moment someone else enters your thoughts. Who’s right? Not an easy question to answer.
I think it is absolutely normal to be attracted to other people other than our partner. It doesn’t mean our couple is going sour, just that we’re alive. For some, the idea of thinking about someone else will create a doubt: am I a cheat or what? Is the intention where cheating resides? Or how we manage said intention? I do think if we feed our attraction by creating occasions to meet this other person, then yes we are heading for cheatville.
I also see a difference between having a dream (or more) about one guy that you don’t really see in your daily life (like an artist) or a co-worker, but in both case one knows (or at least should!) that this is going on in our head, it’s not real.
I had a dream recently and I must say that I was disturbed by it for a few days, not because I had it, but by its intensity and also who it was about. I couldn’t help but wonder: “what was I thinking of when I went to bed?”. Is the fact that I dreamt of another guy threatening my marriage? I don’t really think so, because no matter what, the life I have in my brain is way busier and naughtier than the one I live daily. I also know my intentions are good, so please don’t let me be misunderstood…
It’s up to each person to see how clean his or her conscience is, isn’t it?