Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Three Strikes, You're Out!

Anybody who knows me can vouch for the fact that patience isn't my middle name.  I accept that fact about my character.  At times I see it as a flaw and at other times I don't.  I do try to stretch it and I have to say it works. Sometimes.  I know I can be patient, like when I do scrapbooking, it takes a lot of it or even in my work. I guess once I'm done with those there is little left to deal with the rest of life's dailies.

As I'm writing this, I'm wondering if there's a difference, really, between patience and tolerance? I know it's all about what we decide, the choice we make, the interest we have vested, what we do get out of it.  Sometimes things happen and this without really trying, or at least consciously trying we make a decision which will change many things to come.  At some point I decided to live by this baseball rule "Three Strikes, you're out!" and I have to say it has helped me.  I don't have to make the decision as such, if there's a third strike, that's it, it's done.  I've been applying this basically to everything.

I've been friend with M. for over twenty years.  We've had our ups and downs, but despite it all we both knew the other was there for us.  She was single for a long time. Then she met her husband.  We would often do lunch just the two of us, and regularly do dinner the four of us.  The boys got along so it was always a pleasant time.  Then they decided to get kids.  Our visits were a little more occasional, but we kept in touch.  They were overwhelmed and the girls had serious issues so their lives took precedent over socialising.  I get that.  We still managed to keep in touch.

About five years ago, it started getting harder to see my friend.  Between her work, the girls, the house and life in general she didn't have much spare time left.  It got to a point where we would send each other birthday and Christmas cards.  We live about 30 min. from each other.  I would send her emails from time to time, trying to keep the connection going.  About a year ago, she sent me a "thinking of you" card and had written a long message in which she said that while in town with the girls, they walked by our place (since we live in a touristic area of town) and realised our different our lives were.  That was the last I've heard from her.

I get the family life versus ours.  Does the fact that one has a family excludes those who don't from their lives?  I don't think so.  I have other friends with kids, and we still manage to work around that.  We may not see each other the way we used to, but we still do, sometimes with the kids and sometimes without.  After receiving her card, I had called her a few times, leaving messages, sent her a few emails and even sent her a post card or two.  Didn't hear back from her at all.   I've bought her a birthday card and was going to mail it to her this week. I was reaching my limit, this was most likely going to be my last try.

We all know the saying "Great minds think alike", right? I think things do happen for a reason.  I do believe in magic if you will. I don't think everything that happens is random.  She actually sent me an email Sunday night, explaining what has been happening with them lately and how we should get together. Weird huh?


Attila The Mom said...

I'm so glad it worked out that way! I had a couple of friends I've more or less let go of because it seemed I was doing all the work!

Stinkypaw said...

ATM: I know what you mean. I guess things worked out good... this time.