Recovering or improving?!

I don't know if it is the time of year or what, but I've been feeling somewhat blah.  Granted I had a few rough days with the bad toothache, and then sore neck and messed up jaw, but at the same time I'm thinking pain is one of the constant in my life so why the blah feeling... I do know that I`m noticing some stuff around me, and even if I try hard to let it go and not care I still see that I do care and have some fears attached to it all.

Working on oneself brings out many questions, and also some answers.  Some of these answers are not always pretty or even gentle.  Not always easy work.  I'm assuming and hoping it will all pay off in the end, and even before that,  as I see some of the benefits already, but man at times I just feel like giving it all up.

Being alone is not always easy possible, especially when one in happily married and sharing everything with a beloved.  I am lucky enough to have the pleasure of working from home, so I'm home alone during the day almost every work day, and I wouldn't change that for the world.  That being said, when the husband gets home, after his day outside the home, he often feels like talking... that is when it could get complicated, but having the great hubby I do have, it is not.  He respects my silence, and I love him for that (among other things).

I know people's perception of me are only that, the way they see me.  It doesn't mean it is the way I truly am. I know better, when it comes to me that is.  I've learned to refrain from offering free views or opinions about many things.  Most often people ask something but don't care for the answer or get upset when you tell them something they don't want to hear.

I'm done.  I'm not really getting wiser I'm just plain and simple tired.  I guess my half of century of living is starting to rear its ugly head... it is catching up to me.  I'm not even sure it upsets me.  I'm just keeping it real, I guess...