Sunday, November 06, 2016

Countdown to Half a Century...

It has begun!  I've been counting the days before I hit that milestone, the BIG 5-0, and I'm not even thinking of Hawai'i, my big 5-0!

In nineteen days I will turn fifty.  I thought that writing it down might make a difference, nope, still cringes... I know it is just a number.  I also know that I don't look it, or feel it - but, depending at what time you ask me that question, you will get a different answer, that's for sure.

In thirteen dodos we are leaving for the sunny beach of Punta Cana, in Dominican Republic, at least I'm hoping it will be sunny, because I sure need to crash on the beach and do nothing but decide with bathing suit to put on and what drink to order!  I always thought I would celebrate my passage to being half a century...  I've celebrated my 30th and my 40th, in style, you know, renting a room, DJ, catering, the whole shebang... My fiftieth (yuck, ugly looking word!) I thought I would celebrate in Disney, but turned out to be too expensive and I/we had different priorities, like getting this place organized...  I would have loved to be surrounded with friends and enjoy it all but instead Hubby and I will crash for a week in an all inclusive, which we haven't done in a few years, by ourselves.  It will be nice to recup together, he needs it more than me since he's been working hard lately. He's being pulled in different directions by many people, and he's not really wired to manage it all that well.  He likes his peace and quiet, and lately he hasn't been getting much of that.  He feels like a pooper scooper at even if that can make one feel good at times, it can be very tiresome as well.

Talking with Hubby earlier, we realized that we haven't been to a beach (read sea or ocean) for a good two years.  We were by the water in Bodø (Norway), but it was so friggin' cold it's not like we swim or anything of the sort.  I did go to Rimouski in June, but that as well wasn't really the best condition for a fun time at the beach... 

This summer I swam once, in a pool in July and it was friggin' cold that one time.  Did it anyway, because I like water that much, but time was not wasted between the pool and going in that night, that's for sure!  We are well past our expiration date in regards to some fun in the sand.  Time for me to build something, like a turtle or a Hawaiian Sandwoman... I just love the feel of soft sand in my hands or between my toes...  As Young Dory says: "I like sand. Sand is squishy."  Then again, I've recently watched a short movie made by the daughter of a friend (you can check it out here, very well made and quite interesting) where she talked about Tardigrades, those little water bears that live in the sand, reads all cute but I think I won't be able to help myself and think about them all as I crash upon them...

All in all, my brain has been on overdrive for some time now, and getting away, if only for one week, will do me good. Being away from a computer will also be a good thing for me.  As we are about to enter week 46 of this year 2016 - and a big week this will be as well, with the American Election Day on Tuesday - I can only sit here and wonder not only where did those past fifty years go to, but this past year seems to have gone by as one big blur as well...  Many things came and went at us in 2016 and the year is not over yet:  just this coming week, I have to visit my osteo, then my neurologist, then my dentist to have two crowns put in (can you hear the cash register?!), then next week it will be the hairdresser, annual check up with our family doctor and the esthetician. 

I did laugh when I saw this picture, even if I don't shave (I wax), this image feels true.  Since I'm thinking of joining the Y this winter, that might not work for me, darn!, but still love that image.  Another pleasure of aging is those hairs growing on my chin... never had that before, now every now and then I have to pluck one dark one away... strange and oh so ugly!

Before I get in the TMI space, I shall close.  I do find that people are over sensitive about every little damn thing.  It's unreal how you can not say anything without someone being offended or frustrated.  It's ridiculous.
I miss the days when as kids we were afraid of strangers and/or neighbors, not because they would abduct or hurt us, but because they represented authority and that was respected.  They could and would tell us to get lost or to go plain somewhere else, and we did without crying to our parents about it.  We feared authority and showed respect towards it.  Nowadays nobody says anything.  The kids, read brats, run the world and it's normal. Argh!  Nobody respects anyone no more.  We're all afraid to say something when we see something that is wrong, like a kid who won't give up his seat on the bus for an elderly, nobody says anything. A few years ago, we would have gotten a smack behind the head for remaining seated.  Times have changed.  I have grown old...er... and one thing for sure, I'm damn happy not to have had any kid.  I wouldn't want to be raising kids today.  I'm not saying that we should hit kids (well... no, I'm not!) but we should teach them to respect others and their elders.  I hate it now, when I speak (French) with a young person and they use "tu" (informal way to address someone) rather than "vous" (formal way to address).  It's a little thing but it does make such a difference, it creates a little gap, a little difference, it shows some form of respect. 

O.M.G. I read like such an old broad!  OK time to close up, and go drink my cup of hot tea...  Geez...

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Recovering or improving?!

I don't know if it is the time of year or what, but I've been feeling somewhat blah.  Granted I had a few rough days with the bad toothache, and then sore neck and messed up jaw, but at the same time I'm thinking pain is one of the constant in my life so why the blah feeling... I do know that I`m noticing some stuff around me, and even if I try hard to let it go and not care I still see that I do care and have some fears attached to it all.

Working on oneself brings out many questions, and also some answers.  Some of these answers are not always pretty or even gentle.  Not always easy work.  I'm assuming and hoping it will all pay off in the end, and even before that,  as I see some of the benefits already, but man at times I just feel like giving it all up.

Being alone is not always easy possible, especially when one in happily married and sharing everything with a beloved.  I am lucky enough to have the pleasure of working from home, so I'm home alone during the day almost every work day, and I wouldn't change that for the world.  That being said, when the husband gets home, after his day outside the home, he often feels like talking... that is when it could get complicated, but having the great hubby I do have, it is not.  He respects my silence, and I love him for that (among other things).

I know people's perception of me are only that, the way they see me.  It doesn't mean it is the way I truly am. I know better, when it comes to me that is.  I've learned to refrain from offering free views or opinions about many things.  Most often people ask something but don't care for the answer or get upset when you tell them something they don't want to hear.



I'm done.  I'm not really getting wiser I'm just plain and simple tired.  I guess my half of century of living is starting to rear its ugly head... it is catching up to me.  I'm not even sure it upsets me.  I'm just keeping it real, I guess...




Wednesday, October 05, 2016

Writing some more, kind of!

Here I am, again, not dead yet!  I've been keeping busy, between having to have a root canal and non stop pain for a week and antibiotics and the whole shabang, I'm still alive, somewhat.

To be honest don't feel much like talking or writing so decided to post some images that do express what I'm feeling or have been since my last visit here...  Here goes:

love that bracelet too, imagine that!
I've been told it's all bout how we see things and choices we make...

been doing that for a while now, and it works!
Some people are really hard to get with for whatever reason... but then again...

I try twice, third time if it doesn't work - they're out!
That "rule" of mine applies to everyone, except my mom... she has a special status I guess... because otherwise she'd be long gone!

'cause in all honesty I have a good life!
I am thankful for my great hubby, my health (overall, despite the hiccups), the people in my life, near and far and the fact that I am enjoying it all...

Of course, I can not please everyone...

What can I say?
Not that I'm trying... as I am aging I've come to realize that no matter how much you try there will always be haters, so might as well enjoy every day, fully, since nobody knows what tomorrow holds...

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Week 35: Venting and did I say Venting?

Yep, already on day 238th in week 35 of 2016 - zoom, zoom, zoom!  In four months, you've read right, only four little months Christmas will be upon us!  In exactly eighteen Fridays it will be here... A few days ago it got cooler here and wore closed shoes and I so feel like I'm not ready to go back to socks and long pants, and boots... argh... I know I still can go bare in my shoes, but I'm not a big fan of that, so if I were shoes I need socks - yeah I'm weird, as if you didn't know that already - I am so ready to (go) live somewhere warmer than here... but then again, not, because I was to enjoy that friggin' house of ours! 

I've been keeping busy, as usual, and trying hard to stay away from trouble. So let's just say that I've been keeping to myself a lot.  Last week I was alone all week since Hubby went to Washington for work.  I stayed home and actually love how quiet this place is.  I did my things, didn't feel odd or scared being alone, it was all good.

The reason why I've decided to post today is because I felt this need to vent (again! - hey! this is my blog! -)  I've been putting a lot of time and effort on administrating a Bacefook group, I like it.  I don't mind the time spent on there.  I enjoy it.  Well... most of the time that is.

The group that I created is based on Postcrossing, it is a closed group and only people who are Canadian Postcrossing members can join (yeah, I know, big discrimination here, sue me!).  I thought that because of that ''restriction'' members would have least have an idea of the Postcrossing thing work, i.e. you send a postcard, when it's received the recipient send you a little message saying they got it and (most of the time) say thank you.  When you do receive a card, you have to register said card and send a little message to the sender and (I assume) thank the person.  It's simple and the site is well made so not much thinking is really needed.   On Bacefook, there are many games going, all postcards based.  I'm actually only managing one and that is enough. Most of the members are adults (in age that is!).  I always find myself blown away when I see people who are totally clueless when it comes to something as basic as thanking someone for sending them a card.  Respect is out the window, really.  It is sad to see.  And even more to live it.  Common courtesy should be on some extinct list somewhere along with common sense and respect.  Geez I read so old and grumpy, don't I?  Oh well!  At least, despite being grumpy I still can say thank you and be respectful of others. Imagine that!



Sunday, July 17, 2016

No matter what. When your time comes...

No matter what we say about Bacefook, one thing is for sure it does keep people in communication (or whatever you want to call it).  I find out stuff about people, not because I'm being told directly but because of posts on Bacefook.  It is a way for us to keep in touch, an impersonal one for sure, but a way nonetheless.  Granted sometimes I would rather not know or read about some of the stuff people post, but eh... Some people share just about anything, others  share very little, some only superficial crap... I try to keep it general and not go into personal stuff too much, but then again I have this blog, where I've shared TMI at times.  Sometimes it bit me in the ass, but thinking back it was maybe a way for the Universe to cleanse my environment, get rid of juice suckers or too sensitive people with whom you have to watch every little thing you say and do and how and when, etc.  Way too much work for what it's worth.

Last night, or rather earlier this morning, I was looking around Bacefook, when I came around a post from a guy I used to train with in the late eighties. We weren't close friends, but we would see each other regularly at the dojo and didn't mind each other, I guess.  His post was about the death of one of the higher belts in our local organization, a known figure in themartial arts scene.  I read his post twice and then went on to other people's pages to see if this was a bad joke or what.  As I read and saw pictures of the defunct being posted many places, I realized that it was not a bad joke, but that fifty-six years old man had really died of a heart attack, of all causes.  I offered my sympathies to his sister (which I kept in touch with through Bacefook only) and his wife and went to bed.  I was really shaken by this news.  Of all people to die this way... unreal.

Today, I went back to Bacefook and seeing the quantity of messages on his wall, and his family's it made it ever more real... He was really gone.  I've met him in a dojo in 1984, I was training and we were to do a demonstration together for a local TV show.  The daughter of my instructor had the hots for him and they were always flirting and fooling around.  I've had some uncomfortable moments once, at a karate summer camp, when he end up in our room (room that three of us girls were sharing) with the daughter for a "short (or rather quick!) visit".  Throughout my years of training, he was always around, always training and always the same funny guy.  He was a nice guy.  I never thought of him as a friend per say, but more than an acquaintance too... weird, he was there and it was a fact.  He always remained loyal to my instructor, even when politics got in the way.  Their friendship was real.  They were the three or four amigos, always traveling together, hitting the bars, and being fools together.  As they aged, they somewhat calmed down, had kids, and find a mate.  They were still the three (or four) amigos, always ready to laugh and play.

For the past ten years, if not more, I'm no longer active in karate.  Between all the political crap going on, my body talking to me, and life in general, I stepped down from the dojo floor.  I haven't kept in touch with many people either.  Whenever we would run into each other, we were always courteous and could enjoy a drink together.  Last time we met I think was for the funeral of Lowe Shihan in Hawai'i.  I was in touch with his wife, through Bacefook, and would communicate every so often.  As I sit here, thinking that he is now gone, feels really strange, as if I'm being made aware that life is short, that we truly are here only for a short period, and that we never know when our time has come.

There will be service for him this week.  I will go and pay my respect.  I will run into many people I haven't seen for many years.  We will reminisce. A lot of these people still train.  I would lie if I said that I miss it.  I do miss the hitting something on a regular base, that yes.  I miss some of the people, but not enough to contact them, I guess...  

Strange how one random look at Bacefook reminded me of how fragile life is, how not matter what, how much you keep in shape or not, when it is time for you to go, that is it.  You're done.  He was "dangerously in shape" as he used to say... and yet... Sad.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Catching-up!

Yeah, it's about time for me to catch up some... We are now in week 25 and changes did occur since my last post.  Eight weeks since my last visit, wow, time does fly, fun or not, it only goes one way, as Hubby often says.

Since our last chat, we have moved in our new place.  It was a nightmare from Hell, really.  No jokes, never had such a horrible experience moving.  This wasn't our first move, but this sure was our WORST move.  All of our wooden furniture was damaged.  The degree of damages varied from one piece to the other, but ALL were damaged.  The company we used, Go Transport  came recommended by a friend who moved from Montréal to Calgary and she was happy with them, had no complaint.  I wish I could say the same...  On the day of packing, the team that showed up worked well.  There was one guy who seemed to be a little more cowboy (read careless) than the other two, but it went well.  They wrapped our furniture with bubble wrap, some covers and some type of clingy paper.  When we did ask about some pieces, we were told not to worry they would get re-wrapped at the warehouse, before storing them. On top of moving we were also storing all our stuff for two months, while the new place was being completed, thus the rental apartment.

Right from the start, first box they brought in, we noticed some damages...  That was our first alarm... 
Things were coming in and showing abuse, it did not convey care at all.  I did mention it to the guy (a new one, since the previous team leader who was there at packing, was sick) in charge and he couldn't tell me much.  I did contact the manager, and my contact at the GOT.  He even came for a visit the following day.  He was really apologetic and seemed genuinely concerned, but that didn't repair the scratches or broken dishes.  He even fired the one I referred to as Comboy, since he seemed to be the source of most damages.  That box was made by Cowboy when they packed in February.  It contained the four legs of our dinning room table and... the two lamp shades of our nigh table lamps.
Yep, that is only in one box.  We had over two hundred boxes and that is not counting our furniture.  It was a nightmare, really.  Every thing we unwrapped we found new damages.  Even last week, we installed a big picture frame that had not been unwrapped yet (waited for the paint to be done, etc), and that too, have one corner chipped and the frame is cracked.  We didn't add it to our claim, because at this point we just want to put this nightmare behind us and move on to better things.  We've had a woodworker come in to fix all our wooden pieces as best as possible, we had our lamp shapes re-done and this week the sub-contractor of the builder will be coming in to change the carpet in the stairway, since they pulled a big thread in it.  There is about $1,500 worth of damages and that doesn't include our console table which was wrapped so tight they bend the legs and cracked the wood!  Hell, I tell you!

Good thing we did not have the place painted before the move in since not only was our furniture damaged the walls took a beating too.  But not it is all done, almost, we have curtains and blinds on all windows, the food pantry and our walk-in have been done - and we love them both - most boxes are unpacked, we even have pictures on the walls so this is really starting to feel like home!

Last weekend, I drove with a friend, to Rimouski - we had a Postcrossing meet-up.  The drive there was pleasant, since the weather was nice.  I even took the road along the shore, such scenery.  Took us six hours to get there.  Walked around a bit that first night.  We were facing the St-Laurent, where the Empress of Ireland went down in 1914 (1,012 victims sank on May 29th that year).

Pointe-au-Père (museum and lighthouse)
We stayed at this very little motel, our room was so tiny we didn't have chairs to sit (to give you an idea), tiny! 
June 11th, while I enjoyed my breakfast Likki took in the scenery.

We were really along the water, the last road before the beach. The smells reminded me of when I would go for walks along the pier in Bodø.

We had a nice big meet at the local post office, since the post mistress is an avid participant in Postcrossing, and twenty of us showed up, mostly from the region, but one girl came from New Brunswick, one from Toronto, a few from Québec city and four of us for the Montréal area.  We manage to sign and send 433 cards!
Likki with Postman Pat and Jess the Cat with my stack of cards: 43 cards!

Likki with the stacks of cards being mailed from the meet
It was a fun, but long day.  I did manage to "escape" a little, went to visit the Empress of Ireland museum, walked some on the beach and did some socializing too.  A busy weekend overall.  We drove home Sunday morning and had heavy rain most of the way back.  It took us ten hours, granted we did make some pit stops, I needed to wake up from the wipers hypnosis!

Rimouski is a very nice region of our province.  The people are friendly and the scenery is gorgeous!
The lighthouse, with a meringue sky!

Sunset on Sat. June 11th, 2016

The interesting rocks along the shore...
Since my last post, one of my aunt passed away as well as the daughter of a cousin.  Sad that we often only get together for a death...  But at least some a bunch of us (six to be exact!) got together for dinner after that and managed to catch up some.  We said we would try harder to get together more often... let's see if that works.  Besides that, life in Pleasantville seems to be just that, pleasant.  Getting use to it, and so far liking it. Starting to know more than one path to get home, woohoo!

I think this will be it for now, and I will try to be better at keeping up... trying being the key word here...



Monday, April 18, 2016

Cleaning, Painting, Packing and Forgetting...

 Already at week 17, or day 109 of 2016.  Man time flies even if we're not having fun!  Since I last wrote  we went for a week to Vegas, a week of rest, good eating and soaking up some sun.  It was a good week away, that we both enjoyed before coming back to our "go, go, go" lives.

We finally went to the notary and signed for our new (and final, for a long while, I hope!) place.  We did the inspection in the morning and signed in the afternoon.  They delivered as promised.  They say it was ready to move in, but since their standards of cleanliness and different from ours, we spent the weekend cleaning, getting it ready for our stuff to be delivered tomorrow.  Actually, Hubby did all the cleaning and I was in the locker painting it.  It was the only thing that was not painted, and since it was "the time" to do it, otherwise it would never get done, I did it. 

Our new place
This is our new home.  It will be different for sure.  Last night, in between two trips of us moving our clothes, cousin, who leaves a street over, came by for a visit.  Our first guests.  It will be our first place where we are so close to family. Exciting.

Lately I've been feeling like I'm neglecting people in our lives.  Between the traveling, the temporary move and now this (final!) move, I feel like we never stop long enough to catch up. 

Yesterday, was the first time in seventeen years that I didn't think of my father.  I would lie if I'd say I think of him daily, I don't think it is a daily thing, but I do think of him often and also often talk about him.  I feel that with all the commotions in our lives I (finally) let go of him...  It is a strange feeling and yet, I do believe it is a good thing.  A new beginning of sort.

Now, I need to get packing so that the movers have boxes to bring from this noisy apartment to our new place.  Can't wait to be home!