Monday, January 27, 2014

With Aloha...

I don't know about you, but I'm one who do believe in signs; you know signs that life gives you at different times that we most often choose to ignore?  Hubby tends to ignore them, since the scientific geek in him likes visible, explainable facts, none of that feeling thing.

Before we left for our vacation, our much needed time off, I had a little episode which landed me in the ER.  Hubby has been telling me to slow down, that I was heading towards a crash of some sort.  I've been dismissing him, ignoring his warnings and kept on pushing; things had to get done.  On the Wednesday before we left I was at a client.  After lunch I got myself a latte mocca and had some palpitations, which I (still) think were caused by the coffee - I don't drink coffee often - so I didn't think much of it all.

That evening, while watching TV I had some foot cramps - no biggie.  I went to bed after 1am and woke up abruptly at 3 am with a major calf cramp, it wasn't just a cramp it was a hell of a cramp!  I was in such pain, and I've experienced pain before (between knee surgeries and full contact karate to name a few) but nothing like that.  I couldn't put my foot down, it was bad.  I slowly made my way to the bathroom, felt really dizzy and nauseous. I managed to sit on the toilet, but couldn't get that damn crap to let go.  I felt cold and was all wet and felt really bad.  I tried calling Hubby twice, and was starting to get scared.  I had never felt like this before, and couldn't help but think I was having a heart attack or something of that nature.  I did manage to wake him up by the third call and also saw my face in the mirror, and I will say that I had never seen myself so damn white.  By the time Hubby got to me, I was ready to pass out.  He called 911. When the EMS arrived, they plugged me to an EKG, took my pressure, my sugar levels and everything seemed to be fine.  They suggested I'd go to the ER anyway, to make sure.  So, they strapped me to a stretcher and we made our way to the hospital. 

As soon as I came in, I was wheeled to the ER, where I had another EKG, took my pressure, and waited.  And waited to be seen by a doctor.  She came to see me at about 7am.  Took my vitals again, asked a few questions, and sent a nurse for some blood tests.  The nurse came by at about 8:30 am.  They were doing a bunch of tests, to be sure, but it looked like it might have been a stress attack more than anything else.  Supposedly, often people will think they're having a heart attack when in fact it is a stress one.  I was let go, by 10:30am with a clean bill of health.  They couldn't find anything and my heart,  etc. were all good.

During the whole time I was lying on the stretcher, I couldn't help but think of our upcoming trip, and was hoping it was nothing serious that would keep me from flying.  Hubby was with me the whole time, and was periodically telling me, that this whole thing was a sign, if one believed in those, and that I should listen. 

I hate to admit it but I think he has a point.  I just don't know how to fix it, how to address it so that I'm happy as well as him.  I understand his arguments, they all make sense.  I just have to wrap my head around it. 

On Saturday, we visited our dearly missed karate master.  I had made sure we brought flowers and a beer.  He loved to drink beer and I thought of offering him one.  I know it's weird, but I like to think that somewhere, somehow he's still around and will/did enjoy the thought.  We spent some time at the cemetery, the time it took Hubby to sip his beer sitting on the grass by our friend's resting place.  We returned to our condo and as Hubby got out of the car he found a penny on the ground.  I couldn't help to think of this - found pennies come from heaven... Like I've told Hubby, odd that he'd find a penny on the day we visited our friend, maybe our Hawaiian friend threw us a penny to let us know he was also thinking of us... no matter what that is one sign I chose not to ignore as it warms my heart just as much as the warm sun of Hawaii does my bones.

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